Heigl and Butler in The Ugly Truth. (Columbia)

The Ugly Truth

The Ugly Truth is so trite and smug, I’m surprised it didn’t star Ashley Judd. In fact, didn’t it? In Someone Like You (2001) Judd plays a romantically uptight TV producer who falls into a friendship with a swaggering-macho co-worker (Hugh Jackman), only to ultimately realize that beneath his ladies-man bluster lies her true soulmate. The Ugly Truth follows that same path, with Heigl stepping in for Judd and Gerard Butler subbing for Jackman. Even their occupations are the same. Come on, Hollywood: you could try a little harder than this.

Truth is written and directed by the creators of the original Legally Blonde, a movie that surprised the world by not being completely awful. In fact, the only thing more fun than that movie’s quality was the sense of discovery about: Nothing beats the thrill of a film that confounds your low expectations. This film doesn’t do that. It looks predictable and shrill, and sure enough, that’s what it turns out to be.

Heigl plays Abby, a romantically uptight TV producer (see?) who is deadly serious about her work for a Sacramento network affiliate’s news program. She considers her work to be about Real Journalism, and thus is shocked – shocked! – to learn that ratings are important to her bosses. This grim lesson is imparted with the hiring of Mike (Butler), a swaggering-macho type (see?) who lucks into a job as an on-air philosopher-king spouting caveman aphorisms about what women and men really think about each other. These soliloquies are accompanied by Mike’s jumping into an inflatable pool filled with cherry Jell-O and some equally inflated bathing beauties; and by his encouraging the show’s husband-and-wife anchor team (John Michael Higgins and Cheryl Hines) to loosen up sexually, on the air.

Abby can’t believe Mike’s spiel could resonate with audiences, and she’s even more flummoxed to learn it works in real life, too. Soon she’s tapping him for advice on how to snare the too-good-to-be-true doctor (Eric Winter) who’s just moved into her apartment building; like a beer-swilling Cyrano, he mumbles pages from his playbook into her ear via a hidden microphone, as she lamely seduces her hunk of man taffy by fellating hot dogs, laughing at his jokes, and twirling her hair.

The tricks work; the doctor begins paying attention to her; she starts seeing Mike in a new way; it occurs to Mike that Abby may not be all bad. You see where this is going, right? Romantic comedies are to predictability what going out in winter with a wet head is to the common cold. Romcoms can subvert the scourge of knowing what comes next, but it takes either a lot of effort or some powerful chemistry between the actors. (This summer’s The Proposal is an excellent example of these factors helping the audience to avoid caring about just how pre-ordained everything is.) But Heigl’s joyless iciness and Butler’s cartoon buffoonery never gel – there’s no oomph to the pairing – and the screenwriters, apparently unable to think of any new wrinkles to add to the story, go for salty language instead. I have no problem with sex comedies or a raunchy script, but The Ugly Truth uses its raunch to camouflage the fact that it has nothing to say. It’s not terrible, just ... plastic. Coming from a town where surgical augmentation is viewed as a head-start to success, meet the movie made of 100 percent silicone. Jiggling soon to a DVD store near you. 3

Erich Van Dussen is Managing Editor of Rochester Film Journal. Contact him at info@rochesterfilm.com.