Fall Movie Preview

After a so-so summer, we’re looking at a fun fall. We at the Journal haven’t seen most of the autumn films previewed below, but that little detail can’t hold back a torrent of speculation – and a healthy dose of competitive spirit. Here, then, is a totally subjective ranking of the season's big movies (except for Twilight: New Moon, which we'll get to eventually) as they go head-to-head with ... each other:
 

Battle of the "Fast-food" RomComs
All About Steve vs. It’s Complicated

Conventional studio-bred romantic comedies are Hollywood’s bread and butter – or, shall we say, Big Mac and fries. This fall audiences can pick between Sandra Bullock’s second romcom of the year and the latest sophisticated middle-age hookup comedy from Nancy Meyers (Something’s Gotta Give).

Winner: It’s Complicated by a mile. Though admittedly, this is because we’ve already seen Steve, which stunk.

Battle of the Clever Concept Comedies
The Invention of Lying vs. Extract

Director Mike Judge (Office Space) pits his sardonic workplace humor against the cerebral wit of Ricky Gervais, whose Ghost Town was last year’s most undeservedly overlooked comedy classic.

Winner: The Invention of Lying. The story of a guy in a society that always tells the truth suddenly discovering the virtues of fibbing is too intriguing to pass up. 

Battle of the Funny Business
The Informant! vs. Capitalism: A Love Story

In this corner, Steven Soderbergh directs Matt Damon in a true-story comedy of a clueless corporate whistle-blower. And in this corner, it’s Michael Moore, once again incisively picking on the establishment.

Winner: The Informant! Moore’s documentary skills have slipped a bit since Bowling for Columbine; he still has a keen mind, but Soderbergh’s Informant! looks like it’s having its comedy cake and eating it too.

Battle of the Grin-’n’-Gross
Zombieland vs. Jennifer’s Body

Body, with Megan Fox as a psycho bitch who has a really good excuse – she’s a blood-sucking demon! – is written by Diablo Cody, whose wonderful Juno (2007) made audiences wonder what she would do next. Zombieland, on the other hand, puts a darkly comic spin on the living-dead genre.

Winner: Jennifer’s Body. Shaun of the Dead did funny zombies already, but it’s hard to resist checking out Cody’s sophomore effort – and learning whether Fox has any skills we didn’t already meet in the Transformers franchise.

Battle of the High-Class Adaptations
The Lovely Bones vs. The Road

Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel of a father and son after the apocalypse, or Alice Sebold’s murder mystery/family drama? There’s a lot of prestige on the line with this one.

Winner: Begrudgingly, The Lovely Bones. That film's director, Peter Jackson is a consummate filmmaker; and The Road, however rich its pedigree, has been sitting on a shelf for a full year. Who knows why; but meanwhile, Bones is fresh and full of potential. Let's give the edge to that one.

Battle of the Obscure Graphic Novels
Whiteout vs. Surrogates

Whiteout, Greg Rucka’s Antarctica-based crime novel, was lean and exciting. The Surrogates, Robert Venditti’s sci-fi tale of a future society in which people let robots do their living for them, was thought-provoking stuff that Philip K. Dick would have loved.

Winner: Whiteout. This is tough, because Whiteout (starring Kate Beckinsale) is directed by the terrifically untalented Dominic Sena (Gone in 60 Seconds), whereas Surrogates (with Bruce Willis) looks kind of silly in the trailers. Ultimately, Willis has made more bad movies than Sena, so…

Battle of the Familiar Frights
The Stepfather vs. Saw VI

The original Stepfather, which starred Lost’s Terry O’Quinn as a quiet psychopath who likes marrying into families before killing them, is a generation-old cult classic. Dylan Walsh (TV’s Nip/Tuck) take over this time. Saw VI, on the other hand, is probably going to be exactly the same as the first five Saws: Elaborate, gory, and to be continued.

Winner: The Stepfather, by a country mile.

Battle of the Cool Cartoons
The Fantastic Mr. Fox vs. A Christmas Carol

Fox is directed by Wes Anderson, who despite a recent downturn (The Darjeeling Limited? Not so much) still has earned a lifetime of brownie points thanks to Rushmore and The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou. With Carol, however, Robert Zemeckis returns to his holiday-themed motion capture work, but in a story that looks more receptive to the creepy-human visages than 2004’s The Polar Express. Jim Carrey plays Scrooge: Good casting.

Winner: The Fantastic Mr. Fox. We're not wired to think too ill of Anderson (regardless of the mess that was Darjeeling), and switching to an animated film may be just what he needs. But we’ll see…

Battle of the CGI Spectacles
2012 vs. Avatar

We know from Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow how much 2012 director Roland Emmerich likes to portray the end of the world as we know it. From Titanic, the Terminator films and The Abyss, we also know how Avatar director James Cameron can knock a labor of love out of the park.

Winner: Avatar. Cameron has been fine-tuning this picture for years. We’ll be there.

Battle of the Period Pictures
Amelia vs. Sherlock Holmes

A biopic of famed aviator Amelia Earhart (starring Earhart doppleganger Hillary Swank – who knew?) should provide us with all the late-year sepia tones we could ask for … until Guy Ritchie’s Holmes, with Robert Downey Jr. as the sleuth and Jude Law as Dr. Watson, comes along to runneth our cups over.

Winner: Amelia. Mira Nair, Amelia’s director, has yet to screw up. The same cannot be said for Ritchie.

Battle of the Mid-Life Crises
A Serious Man vs. Up in the Air

The Coen Brothers return to get Serious with a cast of relative unknowns in this 1967-set domestic dramedy. Meanwhile in Up in the Air director Jason Reitman (Juno) puts George Clooney through his paces as an executive facing the dreaded downsizing.

Winner: Clooney looks to be in fine Michael Clayton form, and Reitman – after Juno and Thank You for Smoking – seems to be just hitting his stride. The Coens, meanwhile, wil always fit the definition of "hit and miss." The smart money is on Up in the Air.

Battle of the Quirky Domestic Downers
The Box vs. Antichrist

Loss haunts a couple in Lars von Trier’s latest complex and controversial drama; and a couple must deal with the supernatural risks associated with a found item in the latest odd tale from Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko).

Winner: DRAW. Both films are the products of darkling geniuses. Both offer fascinating premises. Both could absolutely suck. But it’s hard not to want to see both – preferably one right after the other.

Battle of the Self-Help Movies
Love Happens vs. Couples Retreat

One shows us two sad people (Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston) falling for each other. The other shows us three once-happy couples getting sad and getting therapy – but in the tropics, with umbrella drinks in their hands.

Winner: Couples Retreat. No contest: Happens looks as if it was written and filmed using stencils of older movies. Retreat might wind up being trite, but a little sour mash mixed into the romcom cocktail looks mighty appealing. 

Battle of the Family Fare
The Princess and the Frog vs. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Old-school Disney hand-drawn animation against newfangled computer-generated artistry.

Winner: The Princess and the Frog, and not just because our old high school classmate, Jennifer Cody, has a lead voice role. 

Battle of the Identical Titles
9 vs. Nine

A Tim Burtonesque fantasy adventure against the season’s obligatory hit-musical adaptation? What are you, nuts?

Winner: The spelled-out Nine has the vastly superior cast (including Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard and Penelope Cruz), but the inventiveness of the numeral-only opponent makes it a perfect 10 in this fall's must-see sweepstakes.